So, today is Transgender Day Of Visibility. Obviously, if your reading this, you know that I identify as Transgender. As a friend of mine said "visibility is important, because it helps to break down barriers." I really liked how he said that. (Thanks Mat!) I know that part of the reason I lived in denial for so long was due to my own preconceived notions of what it meant to be transgender. Well, as I've come to learn, don't believe the stereotypes. I had a friend post a picture saying of him wearing a t-shirt that said "This is what trans looks like." One of the comments made was "So trans people look like......humans?" What a great comment! So, how does this all tie in with the title of my blog, Changes?
Well, since coming out, I've been keeping two separate Facebook accounts. This was for several reasons. One, I wasn't sure that I wanted to share so much of my transgender life on Facebook. Two, my wife needed a buffer from her "old reality" to her "new reality." And finally, I was worried that if I was too open and forward, than I'd lose some family members or friends. And honestly, I don't blame anyone if I make them uncomfortable. While I hope for inclusion and understanding, I also get that being around someone who is trans can be uncomfortable. When I was in college, (and obviously in a great deal of denial) I had a transgender woman in my classes, and she made me uncomfortable. I wish I remember her last name, so I could go back in contact with her and pick her brain some more, but being honest, I was uncomfortable being around her, and it was due to me not having any previous exposure to trans people. Point being I get why people might be uncomfortable with this. It's also why I try not to be too pushy.
I've come to a point now, where having two Facebook accounts, is just to time consuming, and I really need to simplify. I've thought about this for literally months, how to be more authentic, while balancing other people's feelings. The other day, Mitch Mayne, a Gay, active Mormon living in San Francisco made the following statement
"As LGBT Mormons our lives are unusually full of people who want to share their opinions about how we should live. Most days it seems we can't be [trans] enough for the [transgender] community or Mormon enough for the LDS community."
I so can relate to this statement. I fell like this on a daily basis. So, this leads up to a change I'm going to be making. I'm going to be merging my two Facebook accounts. The change will really be minor, but I realize that it will make the situation more real for many of you. In the LDS trans community (and my other Facebook account" I am know by my preferred female name of Lexi. So, I will be adding (Lexi) to the end of my name on Facebook. That's it really. Nothing else will change, except I will be adding more friends from the LDS trans community. I hope that this will make my life easier. If it makes any of my friends or family uncomfortable, and they feel a need to unfriend me, I understand that, and I won't hold any hard feelings against them. I hope that doesn't happen.
I am really looking forward to being more authentic to myself. I'm so grateful to my wife and family for all the support I have been given.
Until next time.....
Yep. This.
ReplyDelete